Ending the Day Strong: A 5-minute Daily Reset

Feeling stretched thin? 

Try this simple 5-minute daily practice to get yourself untangled and take small steps to move out of overwhelm, help you notice what fuels you, and set you up for a calmer tomorrow. 

In this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast, Coral and Jessica discuss how to combat overwhelm through a quick, consistent reflection habit. Jessica introduces a five-minute daily practice built around three guiding questions: 

• What was energy-generating today? 
• What was energy draining? 
• And what can I do differently tomorrow?

This small act of awareness - done daily - can help you see patterns, make gentle adjustments, and bring focus to what matters most. 

Whether you’re juggling deadlines, family, or transitions, you’ll learn how everyday reflection can restore clarity and control.

And check out this episode from our archives for more perspective on great tracking practices:

"Energy and engagement tracking, Nov. 30, 2023"

Further links and resources from this episode:

• Join our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/ 
• Send us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org 

Transcript

Hi there. Thanks so much for listening to the Practicing Connection podcast. I'm Coral. My co-host Jessica is here today as well. And we are going to be talking about fighting overwhelm with daily reflections. And Jess is going to be sharing a practice with us. Jessica, how are you?

JESSICA BECKENDORF I'm pretty good today. You know what? I can't complain. It's still warm-ish outside. The sky is blue against all the beautiful fall colors. The fall rush of activity has calmed down. It seems like September is always such a busy month. This actually kind of feels a little bit like the calm before the storm though, with the end of the year holidays around the corner. So I'll share a little bit more about this in a minute.

But I just went over my calendar between now, which is earlier in October as we're recording this, and the end of the year. And I started to claim, like pre-claim, time on my calendar to block it off way ahead so that I can be prepared when my schedule gets full. And I'm going to stick to it!

CORAL OWEN Love that for you. No, I will say the calendar bit, very relatable. Here in Tampa Bay is, we'll call it “Florida Fall.” Like the mercury dipped below 70 the other day.

JESSICA BECKENDORF Like Wisconsin summer?

CORAL OWEN (01:20.856)

Probably. And literally the entire neighborhood busted out their like hoodies and beanies and it's only 69 degrees. So, but no, I totally feel you on the calendar bit. I actually began a similar practice about a month ago by grouping similar work into like particular time windows each day. And it really has, I've tried to stick with it, you know, like Monday we're doing this and you know, Tuesday we're doing that, and trying to primarily just keep like for instance calls to the afternoon. 

So I've got a bigger chunk of time in the morning to just move through things and think a little bit more deeply. But it really has helped me stay focused. I'm getting more done, doing better quality work and thinking. I really just don't feel so scattered with my energy.

JESSICA BECKENDORF Yeah, it's really hard. Context switching is really hard, like going from one project to a different project where, you know, there might be some connective tissue between the two, but it's maybe it's weak connective tissue and it's a lot of work to kind of do that switching constantly. So that sounds like a really smart strategy. 

CORAL OWEN Absolutely. I know that a lot of people probably can relate to this. Even if you have one role, oftentimes people will wear many different hats within the same role. So yeah, maybe we should do another episode about that, at some point.

JESSICA BECKENDORF We probably should, yeah!

CORAL OWEN (02:42.497)

Well, for today, at least, we are going to be digging in more about daily reflections. Jess, can you tell us a little bit more about the practice you chose today and why did you decide to dig into this?

JESSICA BECKENDORF Well, I mean, and daily reflections is not new to this podcast, right? There are so many different ways that you can do daily reflections. And that's why we cover it so many different ways as well. 

And so I've been planning out my time, like I mentioned a little bit ago, for the rest of the year. And I was struck by just how busy the last two months of the year can get. 

At work, you know, there are project deadlines, of course. There's reporting to finish before the end of the year, many of us have. And it's often in months that are also packed with travel and important personal commitments. 

Meanwhile, if you're in the Northern hemisphere, like we are, the days are getting shorter, which is really annoying, but that's another story. All of that can actually combine into making like November and December really, really hectic, stressful, and completely overwhelming.

Hence my going through and pre blocking my time to make sure that I had some. And it's really hard to know what will help me navigate through all of that. So that's why.

CORAL OWEN Yeah, for sure. There is just so much happening in these periods of time and seasons. What particularly makes a reflection practice helpful in spaces such as these?

JESSICA BECKENDORF (04:12.482)

This is the reason why I often suggest reflection practices, because I know that everyone needs something that's low commitment and really simple. If you're overwhelmed, adding a huge task isn't going to help. Because I practice daily reflection almost daily, I'm not perfect, I know that it doesn't take long and it's not a huge task.

And when it comes to this time of year, toward the end of the calendar year, it's not the time to make huge changes or to do deep inventories. To navigate overwhelm when you need something that is incredibly surprisingly achievable. That's why reflection, daily reflection helps. 

So this particular daily reflection is just that. It's really simple, takes about five minutes and it invites you to find one small thing that you can change.

CORAL OWEN That does seem pretty approachable. There is a part of me saying immediately like, “Well, if it's that simple, how is it actually helpful?” So what would you say in response to that?

JESSICA BECKENDORF Yeah, I do think that sometimes practices like this can feel overly simple, and, “It's only a few minutes so I can skip it today.” 

Hence, even my own admission that I practice daily reflection almost daily. So it does seem overly simple for such a big issue and for something that can create such a big change. 

I understand why someone might think it wouldn't be helpful. The power really in this practice is doing it daily. By making it simple, we make it easier to do every day. So consistency, because consistency is the key for this practice to have big impacts, if you do it once, but never again, you won't get the same impact as doing it daily or even weekly. 

And by doing it regularly, then you can start to see patterns. You can test possible next steps. You know, we can test different things, and maybe immediately start to see impacts of some of those small changes that you implement.

It's kind of like that, how a bunch of tiny steps can build up into a big momentum over time. Baby steps, think, used to be the term that we would all use, ‘baby steps.’

CORAL OWEN Mm-hmm. Well, while you were unpacking all of that, I immediately just thought of brushing your teeth.

JESSICA BECKENDORF Yes, right! A small daily practice that has big impact on your health.

CORAL OWEN 100%. So this is yeah, mental. Mental and energetic and calendar health, even. So, and I totally agree that if you're reflecting over time, it'll be easier to notice how your choices are impacting your experience. But having just like a very narrow aperture on say a day, you probably won't see much, but if you expand it outwards a bit more, a couple of months, six months, year, it probably is a huge shift.

JESSICA BECKENDORF Yeah. And the particular questions that'll be sharing in a little bit, I think, are especially helpful for taking that larger look over time. And I think you'll see, you'll see why in a little bit. 

But yeah, exactly. Long-term doing regular reflection kind of gives you those opportunities to have agency and ownership over your own growth. And you know, when you notice what is going on during your days and you have the opportunity to decide what changes you want to make. 

I think it's especially helpful in situations where a lot of what you do is dictated by others. Or I would say a lot of what you do sometimes feels like it might be dictated by others, right? I talked about trying to claim time ahead of time before my schedule gets crazy. 

Well, guess who allows my schedule to get crazy? It's really me. I mean, that's not always the case, I know that, but sometimes it is a very real situation where your schedule is dictated by others. And sometimes it's a little more of a self-created situation or a perceived situation. 

Anyway, regardless of what it is, if you feel stuck or trapped, it can feel impossible to figure out next steps. And so this reflection can help highlight what changes you're able to make. And while it isn't going to magically get rid of the hard things in your life, it can help you proactively decide how you want to navigate them. And making these deliberate choices can be really empowering.

CORAL OWEN I love that and it really does sound great. How does one go about implementing this and how does it work?

JESSICA BECKENDORF All right, so this reflection is designed for the end of the day. I recommend scheduling just five minutes every day for at least a week. 

Maybe that looks like the end of your workday on your commute home, or while you brush and floss your teeth. Although if you're doing it while you brush and floss your teeth, it'll be harder for you to write down your thoughts, but that's okay. Whatever space you have for pausing to think is absolutely the correct space. 

Once you reach your reflection, time and space, ask yourself these three questions. And I'll go into a little more detail in a second here. But the three questions are, what was energy generating today? What was energy draining today? And, is there anything I want to do differently tomorrow? 

You might help find it really helpful to jot down a few notes each day to help keep track of what you're seeing over time. But I would avoid writing more than a short list or one to two sentences per question. It is absolutely imperative that we keep it simple or we're not going to keep doing this. 

You can, if you like, especially if you've chosen brushing your teeth as the time that you're going to, that you're going to reflect, you can just reflect on these questions and not write them down. The reason we recommend writing them down is because our memories are, at best, inconsistent. So in order to see patterns and reap those larger results we were talking about, just quickly jotting a few thoughts down will be key. And it doesn't really take much more time than just sitting and reflecting.

CORAL OWEN Those are great questions and I'm just curious, not to put you on the spot, but what might it look like to answer them?

JESSICA BECKENDORF Yeah. Okay. Great. Put me on the spot, won't you? 

No, of course I came prepared to answer this question. So one general tip is to do your best to approach your answers with curiosity rather than judgment. The first time you do the reflection, the questions might be hard to answer, but if you keep answering them consistently, you're going to start to look for your answers throughout the day. You're going to start to notice things more easily. And the reflection itself is going to go more quickly. 

So here's a few tips on each of those three questions. So first, what was energy generating today? When you're overwhelmed, it's easy to miss the good stuff, but it's really important to notice what is going well. And this is what will help sustain you throughout the busy seasons. 

Your answers can be something small like, ‘trading a genuine smile with a stranger at a grocery store,” or something really big like, ‘finishing a month's or year's long project.’ 

Just try to be specific and honest with yourself about what actually gave you energy. And I think a caveat here is sometimes we might give an answer because we think it should be something that gives us energy. Like I'm going to just use like, spending time with our kids. 

I don't have children, and I've said that on here before, but I think sometimes saying something like, “spending time with our kids, or, ‘finishing that months long project,’ like we might say something like that because we think it should give us energy, but I just really want you to reflect on, was that something that gave you energy? Was that something that just was a lovely release, but maybe didn't give you energy? Does that make sense, Coral?

CORAL OWEN Yeah, that totally does make sense.

JESSICA BECKENDORF Okay, great. I want to make sure, because I do this kind of practice a lot and I just want people to make sure that they are able to check in really on something that gave them energy versus was just a release. 

And if you can't come up with a single thing that was energy generating, that's okay. Just make note of it and move on. So that was what was energy generating today. Now here's some tips for what was energy draining today.

I think it's often easier for us to recognize this one. So this is another question where I encourage you to be specific and honest with yourself. If your instinct is to say “everything,” that's actually, well it's not being specific for sure. And it's possibly not being honest with yourself. I think it's sometimes easier for us to recognize that we felt bad versus recognize why we felt bad today, right. Or why that was energy draining in this specific case. 

So try coming up with a list of one to three specific things, big or small, that drained your energy, right? So doing anything with financials drains my energy. I know that. I've identified it over the years. If I had to do a whole bunch of travel expense reimbursements or anything to do with finances, I know that that day, I'm going to be able to list that very specifically. ‘I had to deal with finances.’ 

And again, if you can't think of a single thing that was energy draining, that's okay. Just ask yourself, what was overwhelming for me today instead? And still, if you can't find an answer to that, that's okay. Just note that there was nothing energy draining today. 

If you find the same thing coming up from day to day, get curious about it. What about this thing is draining? How can you shift things in your favor, and who or what can support you? 

In the case of my issue with dealing with financial tasks, for me, what's draining about it is the sheer level of detail and rules involved and process. You know, you have to do this before you do that, and you have to explain this to a great level of detail. And it's just a lot happening. 

And one of the things that helped me shift things in my favor was getting to know, believe it or not, getting to know what some of those rules were so that I could do it flawlessly each time I did it. Now it still doesn't take away the fact that I dislike doing it and that it drains my energy, but it helps me get through it faster and easier than before. So that's an example of how that can work. 

So those were some tips for what was energy draining today. Now the last question is, is there anything I want to do differently tomorrow? And this is the question where we try to hone in on converting the energy-draining activities into more neutral activities. 

Like I said, with my financial tasks, I was able to turn something that was super energy draining into more of the neutral space. It still is energy draining, but it's less energy draining than it was before. So this is about turning those activities into more neutral activities, or adding more energy generating activities into our day.

So something might immediately pop up for you when you think about this question, but sometimes the energy draining things aren't something we can get rid of, right? I have to do those financial tasks, right? I can't get rid of those. So if that's the case, just try asking yourself, how can I make this easier or kinder for myself? 

Those were tips for the third question, “Is there anything I want to do differently tomorrow?” You might find it helpful to jot down a few notes each day to help you track what you're seeing over time. We've said that a couple of times. I do think that that is a really helpful way of getting that wider view, but we really want to keep it simple. 

So don't do any more, as a reminder, any more than one to two sentences per question. If you notice something specific keeps popping up as energizing, try to do that more. And then of course, if you notice something that keeps draining your energy, and nothing you've tried makes a difference, that's a sign that you might want to ask someone you trust for help thinking through how to shake things up. Or maybe you don't need to ask somebody for that. You can just think of other ideas for taking things up.

CORAL OWEN Delegate it!

JESSICA BECKENDORF (16:36.142)

Or if you can delegate, then by all means delegate.

CORAL OWEN I say this as I'm teaching my three year old how to load the dryer. Anyway, that was all in jest. 

No, seriously, Jess, thank you so much for doing a deeper dive into those questions. Those were wonderful tips that provided a lot of clarity. My tendency would be to hear those questions or read those questions and think through it more high level, but getting so granular as to the point of ‘a genuine smile from a stranger at a grocery store,’ those micro moments sometimes really can be a lot more impactful than I think we might give them credit for, for better or for worse. 

So, yeah, doing that deep dive was really helpful. So thank you so much for this reflection. And yeah, it kind of feels like maybe like a closing ceremony to your day, and just really wraps things up nicely and just with a little bit of, not formality, but just a little bit of a ritual, helping you pivot to that next activity, whatever it is you're you're doing from there. 

JESSICA BECKENDORF Yeah and you know part of the purpose of that final question is that it can set you up with momentum already for the next day. 

CORAL OWEN (17:49.654)

Oh that's such a good point.

JESSICA BECKENDORF Right? Yeah so if decision fatigue is one of the things you struggle with while you're feeling overwhelmed, that third question is going to help you get started with your next day.

CORAL OWEN (18:00.184)

That's a really wonderful point and I love that so much. 

All right. Well, that is all for this episode. Thank you all so much for joining us and a special thanks to our co-producer, Erin Carlson Rivera, for producing this episode. 

As always, if you enjoyed this or any of our episodes, please be sure to click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or a colleague. We will be back next week with a new episode and until then, keep practicing.

CREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.